If I Could Travel in Time

What, oh what would I say to me
If I traveled back a year or three
Would I wonder why I was sad
Would I still talk about what I had

Who knows the path that lies ahead
They told me the truth but they never said
That regret is a poison mixed with envy
Is contentment a myth or only pity

Would I ask myself to be stronger
Would I say just hold on a little longer
Can you find an answer without asking a question
Can you take a stance without choosing a position

Your plan has traces of the nefarious
Your joy is mine, but I'm still jealous
Am I here or still clinging to a shadow
My outlook was and is truly harrowed

So maybe I would listen, learn, then try to speak
About how the mountain's most beautiful at its peak
But I made it this far so I will carry on
I hummed a tune, now I sing the song

Ancient forces have long debated with rage
That wisdom doesn't always come from a sage
But hindsight has a way of creating
Nothing more than a sense of longing

I wish I could have, I wish I didn't
Those two thoughts I deem repellent
For down that road you only find pain
When you wish you could do it again

So live in the moment and please don't hope
To undo your actions, instead why not cope
Say you're sorry and then move forward
No one is going to call you an unjust coward

So I guess I would say you are going to make mistakes
But what you give is more important than what you take
No one can be perfect in any way, shape or form
But you can try to be different from the norm

So hold on tight the best is coming soon
Not everyone is born with a silver spoon
But be the best that you could hope to be
And stop making yourself the enemy

You know

You know the sun only shines so bright
Because she wanted to prove that you were right
The glowing beams spread across your face
As you turn your back and pray for grace

Your heart simply beats an anguished rhythm
Because you played and found yourself beaten
Your bones to this day remain unbroken
Because she cast a spell that was unspoken

The rain falls down in an expanding mess
Representing what she once possessed
And sometimes you being to wonder
If it was her voice that brought the thunder

Your lungs are fit to capture polluted air
She taunted you to an unspeakable dare
With every breath you took she observed
She was the fiber of every nerve

The wind howls like an unstoppable torment
Yet she was the hope that kept you buoyant
You feel it flowing rapidly on
And you know she is not truly gone

And on rolls the debacle you call a brain
She is the reason you aren't completely insane
Protecting the beauty of the subconscious thought
Yet she was the only thing you wish you forgot

Look up at  the stars, they sparkle tonight
But only because she made them fight
Where would you be without their guidance
Would you walk, leap, step or prance

Your skin is the covering that envelopes completely
Because she held you in her arms so gently
Covering the frame that was valued most
And now all that remains is a haunted ghost

Nothing is ever truly finished
Even the chord that's half-diminished
And so you're left alone in a world so twisted true
You know the sea is salty, because she cried for you.

Look at me

I see your eyes searing the insides of my brain
I see the tears about to fall like gloomy rain
Why do you hate me, I can only question
Did you not hear me, did you never learn your lesson

Where is folly but in the grasp of a dreamer
You despise me I know, but I am still a believer
That maybe your dislike is only just a trend
But you disparage my thoughts till the very end

You tell me you wish I was a better man
You tell me you never did what only I can
You tell me I am nothing more than a loser
You say I'm too weak to be a fighter

Thwarting my progression at every turn
Again, can you not hear me, do you ever learn
Malnourished purely from discontent
A sinner you are, now go and repent

Whenever you look at me, you never smile
You know everything about me, it's all in my file
Crazed with loathing everything that I am
You destroy my walls with your battering ram

Hostile to praise when it abounds
Clasping the ground without a sound
You say my words are really worthless and crass
As I realize that I gaze at a reflection, in the looking glass

Random short poems

Who am I

Who am I, the oldest question in the book
Well if you want to know, why don't you take a look
Where are you is what some will chant
The air is fresh let me continue to rant

Loquacious in thought, but hesitant in speech
The answer comes from those who cannot teach
So they say dusk comes before dawn
The night is the refuge where the demons spawn

I answer your question with a retort
Surrender being only a last resort
I do not know who I am or who I will be
What I crave is only anonymity






This Is Me

My darling can't you see
That this is me
Far away from the corners
Head hanging just above the shoulders
Pretty it seems for just cause
Sordid are those without laws
Tried and true, there is relief
Falsified delusion, your real belief


I Am Sorry

 I see you standing next to oblivion
You see me but you stopped caring
The knife in your back was placed by me
Is it too late to say that I'm so sorry
It takes a genius to say you're right
But even the gods will stop to fight
For even they know the only real song
That it takes more than divinity to admit you're wrong

The Introspection of the Bard

Fear, the emotion imperceptible
Anger, the diet of the forsaken
Desire, the force inescapable
Joy, what's forgotten when all is taken

Pain is the culmination of these four
But I forgot hope, the blissful ally
The gentle spirit knocking on the door
The voice that implores you, give it a try

Peace is the nirvana we try to find
But where does it comes from, don't you ask me
A place no one can touch inside your mind
So simply try to perceive the beauty

For love is the treasure worth more than gold
So now going once, going twice...and sold

The Unending Search

You're looking for what doesn't exist in a place where nothing can be found

Your mangled tribulation has lowered you to the forlorn ground

You think about what you want when you don't want it to happen

You gave what was not yours and hoped it was forgotten

You're searching for that which doesn't have a name

Yet you feel pride while others would feel shame

You are the contradiction which invalidates its own nature

You are the unseen masquerade, a grotesque creature.

Beauty is found in the very last quest

Radiance is you at your very best

Pursuant to the redundancy of your endless search

You're free like a bird, yet you only stay perched

You're following a leader, though you're walking backward

You're charismatic and charming, but still quite awkward

Take a look at the mess and you see only beauty

Fighting for victory, but settling for a treaty

Harrowed and haunted, reticence is your call

Lofty and vaunted, yet you are only trying to stall

Who knows the desires burning inside

Watching with glee as you start to writhe

You look in the mirror at the darkest reflection

And then start to walk in the wrong direction

Who's to say who's right or just ridiculous

Yet dare I say you're far too presumptuous

While others are looking for the Holy Grail

You are obsessed with your own white whale

There are memories which you like to reminisce

Yet all of them have no objective purpose

Precious detail is what you like to hoard

Excitement is that which makes you feel bored

You collect what has no value and keep it in your store

But worst of all, you don't even know what you're looking for

Come to me

To the fairest of souls in an unfair world

To the darkest of fears all wrapped in a pearl

To the conqueror of dreams on a night so worn

To the father of terrors only soon to be born

No phrase as ghastly from the one who spoke

No ears hear the words of those still unwoke

The blessed call but the sound forgotten

The voice unheard, all faith rotten

The psychic swears, the mentor sings

The clock struck one, but the bells still ring

Fight for nothing, live amongst the ash

Avoid the curve, only to hear the crash

Try to avoid the lips unpursued

Feel the doom as you find yourself cursed

Look to the sunlight, for there is joy

But forget not the moonlight, my wayward boy

For the rays only show for those in the present

The past long gone, the future in the heavens

Call me a fool, I’m sure you’re right

Watch me run, far away from the fight

Cast your blessing upon me, you witless seer

Look me in the eye, you will see true fear

And so life goes on without a fumble

The house stands strong, pray it doesn’t crumble

As hope lives on in this fraught struggle

Don’t breathe the word, just solve the puzzle

Ask me for meaning and a quizzical stare you get

Instead ask for the truth and hope I don’t forget

Only one can know the demons inside

Only those afraid know where to hide

Kiss my head and tell me a story

Hide my crown and with it my glory

See me now, I don’t understand

How you know me like the back of your hand

Come to me, you know I want you around

But don’t come too close, this is holy ground

Leave the light on

You struggle from the past you can’t see

You hear the voices of your enemies

Though dark is the way, in this struggling age

Help is for the brave, yet who pays the wage?

You’re scared you tell me, why only me?

Are you fighting to be free, or just to be

Living in the past doesn’t pay the bills

Dying for no one won’t stop the chills

So tell me sweetheart, should I leave the light on?

Are you still afraid of the monsters that are gone?

Will you let me comfort you with a kind smile?

Or will you let me struggle all the while?

I am your guardian, your protector, your whispering voice

I am resolute, careful to help you make the choice

To be unafraid when the darkness surrounds

To let me drive the evil out of town

So hush now child and find some rest

Listen to my words, they are the test

It could be said that over me you fawn

But if you’re scared I can leave the light on

Trust me sweet one, I am not the harbinger cold
I am not the whisper of doom so old

You need to know who you can trust

You need to feel, or else you will rust

You are partners with me in this great con

So don’t feel ashamed if you need the light on.

The Praise You Gave Yourself

Scorched, twisted, bent out of frame

Deluded, lacerated, whose to blame

Out of the darkness you do shine

Oh hail, my friend the sweet taste of wine

With it my power, is only just a myth

Without it I sour, Lord take from me this gift

Can you say forever, without saying never?

Will you boast all day, until I admit you’re clever?

Careful are the days that are weighed without shame

Beautiful are the ways, that are only just the same

Harrowed you fight, only seeking grace

Troubled yet right, see the look on your face

If not but pleasure, will you tell me my fate

Torture me forever, I am a selfish ingrate

Worse are the pearls cast before the swine

Look at the treasure eluding you so fine

You say you have doubts but do you remember

How to fight the cold in the drear December

No one knows who played the right battle

All that is known is who was in the saddle

So heed my word, you darkened knave
Take my words to your empty grave

Leave the lost where they were found

Tie the fable to where it was bound

Hope to not cause too much distress

Maybe this will cause you to confess

And so you run, when nobler men stood

Forever living from a heart made of wood

As times wear on, you must profess

A love whose very name is blessed.

And so you seek to praise yourself true

Claiming every shade, every color, every hue

You don’t know that you are lost

You pay the price without knowing the cost

Simple are you in mind

Hope that you don’t seem unkind

Live without laughter, that’s the key

Or have you found the remedy?

A promise that was made

A shadow in the shade

Do you even recall

The most haunting fragment of all

Or do you finally simple choose
To live a life only you can lose

To those who are there for me

So I really wanted to say something
I kinda sorta feel like it’s true
The fact you keep me from too much thinking
And save me from the feeling a little blue

Life is a treasure oft unrecognized
Beauty is a gift that you hold within
The purpose to finally realize
That to not show love is the only sin

The small things matter on a dreary day
The laughs, the joy that comes when you’re around
You listen like I have something important to say
You care about the tree that fell with no sound

When you are around I suddenly don’t care
About my petty squabbles with myself
I find myself feeling lighter than air
My worries are left unnoticed on the shelf

Can I tell you my only real secret
Can I explain what I feel inside
If I tell you will you promise to keep it
The truth is that I want to hide

But you’ve helped me become braver
You’ve given me confidence
You have the love of a savior
And got me off my wretched fence

I’ve always known that you were wise
But I never thought I was that smart
But you told me the truth with your eyes
That wisdom only comes from the heart

So these are a few lines I wrote for all to hear
You mean so much more than I can speak
My friends who I am proud to hold so dear
Who’ve made me think that I’m not weak

So live and laugh and dance a while
Sing and chant and feel your soul
Be finally rid of the treacherous bile
And then you realize that you are whole

We need each other, that’s all I know
Forget the wrong that others have done
Try to help those who feel real low
For you are my never setting Sun

You’ve watched me crawl, walk, and then run
You’ve whispered to me to simply try
And so you witnessed all said and done
You gave me wings, now watch me fly.