You

I think I've asked you this before

Yet never can I get a straight answer

You skip, you hide, you dodge

And suddenly it's over.

I ask you again.

Why did you do it

You give me that sullen look in your eye

And say it was nothing

Showmanship, a publicity stunt

A parade of vanity for pride's sake

You can see everything yet you choose to shut your eyes

You can hear it all, and yet somehow you cry

You tell me your alone

When I am right here

You say that it doesn't count

And rule your own testimony inadmissable

You owned, therefore you lost

You say no one wants to listen

And so excuse yourself from speaking

And in your silence, do you find peace?

Or is it just silence, without reason

Of logic and lust

Fame and villainy

A heartbreak served with a kiss

You took the blows

Yet you never dealt one

You took one through the heart

And a thousand through the head

A vicious litany to charm away the dark

Repugnant rationality echoing within your soul

You were everything when there was nothing

And yet you still struggle to find your way

The strong fall, the mighty will fade

But you never told me why you fell for them all

You never told me if it hurt

And worse, you never told me why you cried

You never told me it was ok

That you left for me to figure out

I can't look you in the eye, I would melt or fade away

I can't stand up for fear I fall

I can only lean close and sing to a god

Would You Adore Me?

Is it ok?

If out of the teeming void of unloved and unloving...

Can I just ask for one

One of 7 billion

To think that I'm the best?



I don't need to be number 1 anymore.

This world has too many competing for the title

And none worried about those unloved.

But can you be my hero, my cheerleader, my guide?

And can you...

Withstand all logic and defy all sense

Obstruct the obvious conclusion

That they all have

And still think I'm the best?



Don't roll out a blood-red carpet

Leave the cheering fans in my head where they exist

Don't stop the clocks, leave the kettle on.

Let me be alone in my obscurity.

But can you be alone with me?

And still think I'm the best?



How did I end up here?

How did I get so lost?

Can you even find me?

Why can't I feel you?

When you are all around me?

Why can't I see you?

When you sing a lullaby to calm me to sleep

Every night

That I am without you.



Can you not see me for the wreck they see me as

Can I beg for a sympathetic saviour

Can't I use my one wish

To ask for just one



You don't need to say it,

I don't need to hear it.

It can be our little secret.

That somewhere deep inside

Only one soul needs to think it



And one day I will find you

And for a reason which I will never know

You will put my aching heart to rest

And somehow think I'm the best.

Swear to Me

Laughing, looking, living

Pressed by torment, driven by rage

All vanity for the sake it was

And for all gods, the sake was in vain

Reaching up to heights further than demons can travel

Swimming in seas fit for no fossil

If you looked behind the veil

Would you see only disappointment?

Would you?

Swear to me?


After travelling roads forged by drunken thieves

Leaping, tripping, falling

If only to get back up again

To say I'm lost would be pointless

For in order to be lost you have to be heading somewhere

But I can hear your voice

Comforting, calling, caring

And it's all I can do to push it away

And ask you to swear to me


If angels could dance,

Do you think you could follow?

Don't you know I have seen you

Whilst you hide from sight

I know you know

You are all around me

So why won't you swear to me


Give me something to cling to

For abstract thought cannot produce specificity

Neither can reasoned hope star in a dream

You are all I have

Although had I everything

I would wish it away to have only you

A word

A curse

A promise

For me, for her, for they

After all has passed,

And we are past it all

Would you set me free

Will you let it all go

And swear to me.

If You Could Read My Mind

If I told you,

Would you cry with me?

If I told you, would you make sense out of madness?

Would you hold me, while I cling to nothing?

Would you care if I told you I couldn't anymore?

Would you pull me out of the depths of despair only to find a dream so precious it had never been dreamed before?

Is it ok for me to be alone?

Have I ever been without you though?

I can't remember what I fear most, losing you or loving myself.

I can't tell you how cold I was, trapped in a cave of my own creation.

I can't tell you how lonely it could be when you are surrounded by people.

For whence it was dark, there is now a foggy mist, from which the faintest speck of light can be seen.

But maybe that's all I ever needed.

The trick is that I can't even say what's wrong.

All I know is that something is missing.

Something is not quite right with the world,

And I suppose it's always been between you and I to fix up the mess

That God knows who started.

Is there brilliance without you?

I wouldn't know, because I can't see one without the other.

Can there be regret if there is nothing to appreciate in the first place.

Save that it was just you and I.

Can I get a reaction without an action to necessitate it?

Can I get a favor without a promise to return it?

Mother, I have answered what you called me out on.

You asked a small child to define why gods and kings ruled while others suffered

And all I could do was to find the beauty in the pain.

And draw a heartbreaking tear to trickle down the face of the proudest man

As he contemplates what it is to be just human.

And in the humanity, he finds himself.

Scarred, scared and sacred.

All he ever needed.