Saturday, April 16, 2011

Just Random

I really wonder at what time my brain starts to function. It seems that after a day of trying to numb it with games and senseless sitcoms it spurs itself to action and propels me to work. Imagine that! I feel extremely insulted, as I did my utmost best to attempt to put it into a slothful and sleepy state, and yet my own brain is plotting against me, forcing creativity and work out of me.

Oh, the perfidious rotter, my own subconscious at war with it's host. The first thought that springs to my mind is that I my dear brain is extremely ungrateful. After all, am I not a most gracious host? Do I not require almost nothing from it, and summon it to work sporadically, with very generous lunch breaks? Do I not entertain it enough?

Yet, why this rebellious upset. What force of nature is compelling me to attempt to accomplish something at this very unholy hour. I do feel utterly hurt and betrayed by my dear brain. I suppose I am gifted to not posses a very fine specimen, otherwise I would feel that I am doing society a great injustice by not accomplishing anything. But, as the case may be, I am free of that troublesome burden of shaking the world. As such, I am fit to do as I please, but, sigh, I am being conspired against.

They say no man is safe in his own home. I no longer feel safe in mine own body. Who knows what idle acts it may spur me to attempt. Acts such as cleaning, oh, cleaning, my eternal enemy. Or other such time wasters, such as studying, researching, or, dare I say it.....working. Oh brain, thou art a fickle friend and have never been of much use to me. I half suspect that I could live a wholesome life (by current standards) without your presence. Come to think of it, there are many who have tried such a feat as complete brain-killing, either by drug abuse or willful neglect, while others were born almost completely lacking such a loathsome equipment, which, in their case, makes any attempts at destroying such a pathetic creation completely superfluous.

Need I point out that about 70% of these very singular individuals became pop stars, or was it evident to all? The other 30% went for public office.

Are you brain dead?
Enough Said

Wednesday, April 13, 2011

Can't Live With 'Em

...and can't live without them. Sad, indeed. I can't seem to make up my mind; I am a mass of contradictions that only make sense if you look at me from the most impossible angles a feat which only the Almighty can achieve. Sometimes I wonder if I have a duel personality, sometimes I think I am going crazy. I often wondered what'd be like to go mad, sometimes I wonder if I am there already.

But, to the topic at hand; women. They are what make the world go round, and at the same time one of them can stop it turning, just like that. She can place one simple look at you and that will be it; there is no more gravity, motion or time, and the rules are broken. Maybe that's why the call it 'falling'. Sadly enough, when you fall, you land hard. You fall broken and bruised, stunned and incapacitated, and suddenly you are in the hands of someone far more powerful than you. Someone who holds a grip over your heart like no one can, someone who can crush it harder than anyone, someone who will...

Maybe I'm lucky that I am so unlucky, where they are concerned. It's not like I am overly shy, extremely ugly (more like just ugly) or even really detestable. Sure, I am all of those things to a degree, but you'd think I had the plague. I've come to the point which very few men will ever reach in their testosterone filled dreams. And that is that there are some things which are simply out of reach. Some dreams will never be fulfilled, while the ones that do will be nothing but hollow accomplishments; a shiny medal in an empty room. At last I have come to the conclusion that I will never be the man that every guy wants to be, in fact I am on the other side of the spectrum, about 3 billion men behind Johnny Depp, standing at the end of the line. I really should put myself on display, for I am a wonder to behold.

Maybe I can disprove evolution, look at me and you will be convinced that the human race is indeed getting less fit, and less likely to procreate. I hope to God there are not more like me out there, otherwise the human race stands a nasty chance. My only wish is that I can deal with the nagging thoughts in my head which tell me that I don't want to die alone...