Just Random

I really wonder at what time my brain starts to function. It seems that after a day of trying to numb it with games and senseless sitcoms it spurs itself to action and propels me to work. Imagine that! I feel extremely insulted, as I did my utmost best to attempt to put it into a slothful and sleepy state, and yet my own brain is plotting against me, forcing creativity and work out of me.

Oh, the perfidious rotter, my own subconscious at war with it's host. The first thought that springs to my mind is that I my dear brain is extremely ungrateful. After all, am I not a most gracious host? Do I not require almost nothing from it, and summon it to work sporadically, with very generous lunch breaks? Do I not entertain it enough?

Yet, why this rebellious upset. What force of nature is compelling me to attempt to accomplish something at this very unholy hour. I do feel utterly hurt and betrayed by my dear brain. I suppose I am gifted to not posses a very fine specimen, otherwise I would feel that I am doing society a great injustice by not accomplishing anything. But, as the case may be, I am free of that troublesome burden of shaking the world. As such, I am fit to do as I please, but, sigh, I am being conspired against.

They say no man is safe in his own home. I no longer feel safe in mine own body. Who knows what idle acts it may spur me to attempt. Acts such as cleaning, oh, cleaning, my eternal enemy. Or other such time wasters, such as studying, researching, or, dare I say it.....working. Oh brain, thou art a fickle friend and have never been of much use to me. I half suspect that I could live a wholesome life (by current standards) without your presence. Come to think of it, there are many who have tried such a feat as complete brain-killing, either by drug abuse or willful neglect, while others were born almost completely lacking such a loathsome equipment, which, in their case, makes any attempts at destroying such a pathetic creation completely superfluous.

Need I point out that about 70% of these very singular individuals became pop stars, or was it evident to all? The other 30% went for public office.

Are you brain dead?

Enough Said

What the hell?

What is going on right now? I do not know. Have you ever felt like all you could say was just !!! This makes life all the more complex for the single reason that the question will inexorably come up; How on earth do you say '!'. How do you cope with that low feeling where nothing has really gone wrong, but neither has anything gone right; and you have nothing you can say, and no way to say it.

Sometimes the world just looks at you and decides to manifest goodness and grace upon your life, and just when you think it is going to get better, it turns around and slaps you in your face. I have to admit, however, that I wouldn't know what to do with a life that was only awesome and great. Thinking about it, I don't think anyone really has the capacity to deal with pure good; indeed it is the evil in life which gives a challenge; keeps us grounded, gives us focus.

But trying to define the current crap can be difficult. People spend hundreds of dollars to have professionals give them answers straight out of a textbook written by a man who more or less had serious issues with reality. People all walk around, wondering 'who am I' 'why am I', wondering where their life is going, and never having a clue of an answer. But it is all about perception. Imagine a disaster movie; one of those end-of-the world apocalyptic movies that seem to crowd up the box office like so many fleas on a dog, and just as appealing. Imagine yourself with dashing looks and as the hero of the film. Now think of the problems you are having. If you were in one of those save-the-world movies your chief problem would be keeping your hair perfectly styled. Problem No.2 is saving the world.

Now against this backdrop, your current problems do not seem so very big. In fact they seem minuscule, so pathetically small that you will almost laugh. You may even shudder with the thought of accomplishing the almost impossible task of leaping over boulders, dodging bullets, saving the woman you love, all the while keeping your hair looking perfect; and, oh yeah; saving the world.

By the way, I do apologize to my reader (I hesitate to pluralize the last word, in light of my current largest problem; finding more than one out of 7 billion people who are even slightly interested in what I have to say) for my lack of being faithful to the blogosphere, and ignoring the countless requests for an update. These requests were ignored largely due to the fact that they originated primarily from my imagination. At either rate, if you are reading this, you have serious problems and need to get your head examined. Or if you want I can just pull out the text book explanation for you 'You have serious problems with wasting time reading worthless blogs which stem from your childhood and the lack of motherly attention that you received from your father'. Trust me, this sounds very life altering coming from a bald person with a beard. If I were to explain my disaster movie theory to him, he would look at me like I was stupid.

Obviously he cannot remember just how tough it is to keep your hair looking perfect while doing incredible back flips necessary to either saving the world, or making a decent take at the box office. This is probably because he cannot do a back flip, or because he has no hair.

Enough Said