Sunday, December 12, 2010

What the hell?

What is going on right now? I do not know. Have you ever felt like all you could say was just !!! This makes life all the more complex for the single reason that the question will inexorably come up; How on earth do you say '!'. How do you cope with that low feeling where nothing has really gone wrong, but neither has anything gone right; and you have nothing you can say, and no way to say it.

Sometimes the world just looks at you and decides to manifest goodness and grace upon your life, and just when you think it is going to get better, it turns around and slaps you in your face. I have to admit, however, that I wouldn't know what to do with a life that was only awesome and great. Thinking about it, I don't think anyone really has the capacity to deal with pure good; indeed it is the evil in life which gives a challenge; keeps us grounded, gives us focus.

But trying to define the current crap can be difficult. People spend hundreds of dollars to have professionals give them answers straight out of a textbook written by a man who more or less had serious issues with reality. People all walk around, wondering 'who am I' 'why am I', wondering where their life is going, and never having a clue of an answer. But it is all about perception. Imagine a disaster movie; one of those end-of-the world apocalyptic movies that seem to crowd up the box office like so many fleas on a dog, and just as appealing. Imagine yourself with dashing looks and as the hero of the film. Now think of the problems you are having. If you were in one of those save-the-world movies your chief problem would be keeping your hair perfectly styled. Problem No.2 is saving the world.

Now against this backdrop, your current problems do not seem so very big. In fact they seem minuscule, so pathetically small that you will almost laugh. You may even shudder with the thought of accomplishing the almost impossible task of leaping over boulders, dodging bullets, saving the woman you love, all the while keeping your hair looking perfect; and, oh yeah; saving the world.

By the way, I do apologize to my reader (I hesitate to pluralize the last word, in light of my current largest problem; finding more than one out of 7 billion people who are even slightly interested in what I have to say) for my lack of being faithful to the blogosphere, and ignoring the countless requests for an update. These requests were ignored largely due to the fact that they originated primarily from my imagination. At either rate, if you are reading this, you have serious problems and need to get your head examined. Or if you want I can just pull out the text book explanation for you 'You have serious problems with wasting time reading worthless blogs which stem from your childhood and the lack of motherly attention that you received from your father'. Trust me, this sounds very life altering coming from a bald person with a beard. If I were to explain my disaster movie theory to him, he would look at me like I was stupid.

Obviously he cannot remember just how tough it is to keep your hair looking perfect while doing incredible back flips necessary to either saving the world, or making a decent take at the box office. This is probably because he cannot do a back flip, or because he has no hair.

Enough Said


  1. You left a series of questions on my blog about dialogue. Since I can't find an email address for you anywhere (why do writers have websites and blogs but no email address at which to contact them?) I'm just leaving you a note here to let you know your dialogue questions are not going to be answered on my blog. Dialogue is a huge subject, covered in great detail in dozens of books on both novel-writing and screenwriting. Any 500-word post I write would be worthless in comparison. So my recommendation would be to read some good books! Good luck.

  2. the ! is just a knot of emotions impossible to express. Wait and try and swallow.

    This knot of emotions is exactly what makes us grow, without the ! moments you wouldn't savour the awesome ones.