Saturday, January 29, 2011

A Shining Light...

Its difficult for me to write today. I know my last few posts have been somewhat emo, and I do apologize. This is, well just a bad day, and it has been for 3 years now. I guess a part of me never really got a chance to say goodbye, and I can't simply forget. I lost my hero today, 3 years ago. I lost a friend, today. He was the kindest, strongest, smartest man I ever knew. He was my father, and still is. I know he is up There watching me, but so many times I wish I could be like other teens, and have a father to rebel against, a guy who will always give you the best advice, a role model to always look up to.

Normalcy is a status I aspire to, but I think it is too late; blessedly so. I just hope everything turns out alright, hope that my life can get a gleam of purpose, I hope I can go to college. Hope is important, we are saved by hope, but hope that is seen is not hope...we with patience wait for it...(Romans 8 KJV) I came across that today, and I just feel it sums up my life, with patience hoping for things to turn around a little. They have to, and I know they are. And suddenly I am filled with hope, cause something inside me knows that everything is going to be alright...

And I'm smiling, if barely so, its a smile and it counts. I see the cloudy sky and I feel the rain drenching me; but there is a sun shining somewhere and I am going to wait for it, because at the end of every tunnel there is a light; even if its only God calling you home.

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