I think I have redefined the term stay-at-home. I hate leaving my house. I hate being in large gatherings. That being said, I absolutely love my friends and occasionally will stir outside in order to see them, as they are important to me. But, over the last year, I think I have understood the concept of living alone. Recently, due to a host of unforeseen circumstances, I have had to live a bit of a nomadic lifestyle; shifting between cities, staying with friends and relatives.
At times I was almost completely alone. As I write this, I am currently separated from all of my good friends and family for various reasons. And yet I don't think I have ever felt as much peace from looking up at the sky and saying 'you are all I've got', yet I was talking to no one. Like I mentioned in the comment I left on dear Rachelle's post; there is nothing more life altering than talking to a wall.
We are afraid of being alone. And sure, I have experienced the crushing loneliness of having no one around. But when there is no one else to carry you; thats when you learn to walk. To quote Axle Rose...'Everybody needs some time, on their own' (November Rain). How can you ever find out who you are unless you are alone? The reason I love being anonymous on this blog is that I can express myself outside of the circle of friends I have.
I love my friends dearly. But I feel that they have put me into something of a mold. I believe this happens to everyone who hangs around a group of people. Within time, these friends start defining your thoughts and actions. As such, this article would be a lot different if I knew that anyone I know would be reading it. Even if it was different; these people would start thinking I've gone a little crazy.
But I love being able to say; this is me. Alienated from my friends and family; I stand on my own, knowing only that this is me, and no one else. And as such, I can write with complete freedom, and utter abandonment. I think, we all need to stop being afraid of being alone, of being lonely, of having no one. Defined by no one and nothing, but what we do, and how we do it.