Dear readers.

The term itself is a bit facetious, and since in order for someone to point out that there actually are no readers, it would require reading (or glancing, which I shall charitably section as 'reading), I shall continue with the rest of this overdue entry.

There have been different factors which have prevented me from writing these past few months. Stress, the hassle of moving, personal trauma (I was forced to watch Twilight Eclipse), lack of internet access, and oh right; the fact that my blog the least viewed page on the internet.

Still, I have decided to put that aside and publish my next article. The only problem that I face is picking a topic. And really, how do you just pick something to randomly write about. Well, the first step is

1 . Know your audience.

This is very important, and the questions you should ask yourself are 'how old are they' 'what background are they from, both work related and culturally.

If you don't know this, or only have a sketchy idea, your jokes about the nun and the priest might either fall flat on a bunch of 5th graders, offend university faculty members, or make your parents and teachers to wonder just what on earth is going on in your head.

As my audience is; (drumroll) No One, I find my task somewhat difficult.

You may say that I am acquainted well with No One, and its parent definition; Nothing.

I consider myself an expert on the topic of Nothing, and am well known for my dissertation on No One. However, I feel overqualified, and feel I may well bore my audience or come off as pretentious with my writings on Nothing.

Once you know your audience, the next step is finding your purpose. Why are you writing? That wasn't rhetorical. Is it for a school assignment? Are you writing a protest (presumably about the school assignment)?

In my case I have absolutely no reason for writing this. (Its a small matter of audience, or lack of it, that seems to snatch the purpose of these posts right from it). But there have been times when I have had to write for the benefit of mankind, and have had a purpose. At such times as that, I summon all my skill, start writing, and forget what the hell I am doing in front of the computer. Then, I drift far away from my topic (you may say thats what I am doing now, however I had no topic to begin with, so there) and have to spend about half an hour just trying to find where I started. Don't do this. Keep your purpose in mind. Avoid deviations, personal 'editorial' comments, and lame attempts at humor.

Basically, make it the exact opposite of this post and you are doing just fine.

Enough Said