The Unending Search

You're looking for what doesn't exist in a place where nothing can be found

Your mangled tribulation has lowered you to the forlorn ground

You think about what you want when you don't want it to happen

You gave what was not yours and hoped it was forgotten

You're searching for that which doesn't have a name

Yet you feel pride while others would feel shame

You are the contradiction which invalidates its own nature

You are the unseen masquerade, a grotesque creature.

Beauty is found in the very last quest

Radiance is you at your very best

Pursuant to the redundancy of your endless search

You're free like a bird, yet you only stay perched

You're following a leader, though you're walking backward

You're charismatic and charming, but still quite awkward

Take a look at the mess and you see only beauty

Fighting for victory, but settling for a treaty

Harrowed and haunted, reticence is your call

Lofty and vaunted, yet you are only trying to stall

Who knows the desires burning inside

Watching with glee as you start to writhe

You look in the mirror at the darkest reflection

And then start to walk in the wrong direction

Who's to say who's right or just ridiculous

Yet dare I say you're far too presumptuous

While others are looking for the Holy Grail

You are obsessed with your own white whale

There are memories which you like to reminisce

Yet all of them have no objective purpose

Precious detail is what you like to hoard

Excitement is that which makes you feel bored

You collect what has no value and keep it in your store

But worst of all, you don't even know what you're looking for

Come to me

To the fairest of souls in an unfair world

To the darkest of fears all wrapped in a pearl

To the conqueror of dreams on a night so worn

To the father of terrors only soon to be born

No phrase as ghastly from the one who spoke

No ears hear the words of those still unwoke

The blessed call but the sound forgotten

The voice unheard, all faith rotten

The psychic swears, the mentor sings

The clock struck one, but the bells still ring

Fight for nothing, live amongst the ash

Avoid the curve, only to hear the crash

Try to avoid the lips unpursued

Feel the doom as you find yourself cursed

Look to the sunlight, for there is joy

But forget not the moonlight, my wayward boy

For the rays only show for those in the present

The past long gone, the future in the heavens

Call me a fool, I’m sure you’re right

Watch me run, far away from the fight

Cast your blessing upon me, you witless seer

Look me in the eye, you will see true fear

And so life goes on without a fumble

The house stands strong, pray it doesn’t crumble

As hope lives on in this fraught struggle

Don’t breathe the word, just solve the puzzle

Ask me for meaning and a quizzical stare you get

Instead ask for the truth and hope I don’t forget

Only one can know the demons inside

Only those afraid know where to hide

Kiss my head and tell me a story

Hide my crown and with it my glory

See me now, I don’t understand

How you know me like the back of your hand

Come to me, you know I want you around

But don’t come too close, this is holy ground

Leave the light on

You struggle from the past you can’t see

You hear the voices of your enemies

Though dark is the way, in this struggling age

Help is for the brave, yet who pays the wage?

You’re scared you tell me, why only me?

Are you fighting to be free, or just to be

Living in the past doesn’t pay the bills

Dying for no one won’t stop the chills

So tell me sweetheart, should I leave the light on?

Are you still afraid of the monsters that are gone?

Will you let me comfort you with a kind smile?

Or will you let me struggle all the while?

I am your guardian, your protector, your whispering voice

I am resolute, careful to help you make the choice

To be unafraid when the darkness surrounds

To let me drive the evil out of town

So hush now child and find some rest

Listen to my words, they are the test

It could be said that over me you fawn

But if you’re scared I can leave the light on

Trust me sweet one, I am not the harbinger cold
I am not the whisper of doom so old

You need to know who you can trust

You need to feel, or else you will rust

You are partners with me in this great con

So don’t feel ashamed if you need the light on.

The Praise You Gave Yourself

Scorched, twisted, bent out of frame

Deluded, lacerated, whose to blame

Out of the darkness you do shine

Oh hail, my friend the sweet taste of wine

With it my power, is only just a myth

Without it I sour, Lord take from me this gift

Can you say forever, without saying never?

Will you boast all day, until I admit you’re clever?

Careful are the days that are weighed without shame

Beautiful are the ways, that are only just the same

Harrowed you fight, only seeking grace

Troubled yet right, see the look on your face

If not but pleasure, will you tell me my fate

Torture me forever, I am a selfish ingrate

Worse are the pearls cast before the swine

Look at the treasure eluding you so fine

You say you have doubts but do you remember

How to fight the cold in the drear December

No one knows who played the right battle

All that is known is who was in the saddle

So heed my word, you darkened knave
Take my words to your empty grave

Leave the lost where they were found

Tie the fable to where it was bound

Hope to not cause too much distress

Maybe this will cause you to confess

And so you run, when nobler men stood

Forever living from a heart made of wood

As times wear on, you must profess

A love whose very name is blessed.

And so you seek to praise yourself true

Claiming every shade, every color, every hue

You don’t know that you are lost

You pay the price without knowing the cost

Simple are you in mind

Hope that you don’t seem unkind

Live without laughter, that’s the key

Or have you found the remedy?

A promise that was made

A shadow in the shade

Do you even recall

The most haunting fragment of all

Or do you finally simple choose
To live a life only you can lose

To those who are there for me

So I really wanted to say something
I kinda sorta feel like it’s true
The fact you keep me from too much thinking
And save me from the feeling a little blue

Life is a treasure oft unrecognized
Beauty is a gift that you hold within
The purpose to finally realize
That to not show love is the only sin

The small things matter on a dreary day
The laughs, the joy that comes when you’re around
You listen like I have something important to say
You care about the tree that fell with no sound

When you are around I suddenly don’t care
About my petty squabbles with myself
I find myself feeling lighter than air
My worries are left unnoticed on the shelf

Can I tell you my only real secret
Can I explain what I feel inside
If I tell you will you promise to keep it
The truth is that I want to hide

But you’ve helped me become braver
You’ve given me confidence
You have the love of a savior
And got me off my wretched fence

I’ve always known that you were wise
But I never thought I was that smart
But you told me the truth with your eyes
That wisdom only comes from the heart

So these are a few lines I wrote for all to hear
You mean so much more than I can speak
My friends who I am proud to hold so dear
Who’ve made me think that I’m not weak

So live and laugh and dance a while
Sing and chant and feel your soul
Be finally rid of the treacherous bile
And then you realize that you are whole

We need each other, that’s all I know
Forget the wrong that others have done
Try to help those who feel real low
For you are my never setting Sun

You’ve watched me crawl, walk, and then run
You’ve whispered to me to simply try
And so you witnessed all said and done
You gave me wings, now watch me fly.

The Man who Ran

No one ever saw him. The man who ran.

No one even heard him. The one who sang.

He was alone in nothing,

while surrounded by everything

He was left without a feeling,

though he could still feel the bleeding

He was cast aside from Heaven, drifting into Satan's clan

He was the only word spoken, and yet somehow he ran

He fought for her, until she stopped fighting him

He sold his soul, watched the light grow dim

He left it unheard, the earth's symphony

He was swimming in fear, of blatant blasphemy

No one could tell him where he was

No one could tell him if it was just because

Horrid and horrified, going against the plan

Because we never saw him, the man who ran

Laid back, yet never lethargic

Unholy but somehow cathartic

Twisted and tied, the tears in his eyes

Pounding his chest, until he sighs

Living for love, loving till loss

Hoping for joy, and losing the toss

You only know the one who can

But who ever cared for the man who ran

And so he kept running, until all faded

And so he kept fighting, although he felt jaded

Yet somehow he reigned triumphant

Although some said it couldn't be done

And he remained a touch blatant

Because he knew he'd won

Angels will swoon, and try to hide the ban

But no one will ever speak

Of the heroic man who ran

You

I think I've asked you this before

Yet never can I get a straight answer

You skip, you hide, you dodge

And suddenly it's over.

I ask you again.

Why did you do it

You give me that sullen look in your eye

And say it was nothing

Showmanship, a publicity stunt

A parade of vanity for pride's sake

You can see everything yet you choose to shut your eyes

You can hear it all, and yet somehow you cry

You tell me your alone

When I am right here

You say that it doesn't count

And rule your own testimony inadmissable

You owned, therefore you lost

You say no one wants to listen

And so excuse yourself from speaking

And in your silence, do you find peace?

Or is it just silence, without reason

Of logic and lust

Fame and villainy

A heartbreak served with a kiss

You took the blows

Yet you never dealt one

You took one through the heart

And a thousand through the head

A vicious litany to charm away the dark

Repugnant rationality echoing within your soul

You were everything when there was nothing

And yet you still struggle to find your way

The strong fall, the mighty will fade

But you never told me why you fell for them all

You never told me if it hurt

And worse, you never told me why you cried

You never told me it was ok

That you left for me to figure out

I can't look you in the eye, I would melt or fade away

I can't stand up for fear I fall

I can only lean close and sing to a god